What do I really look like? I've often had this question going through my head. It's come upon me time and time again.. day after day. I don't think there's a day that I don't ask myself this question. I'll bet that there are an awful lot of people out there who ask the same question of themselves. So why do we ask? It's purty simple.. At least from my standpoint.. it makes a lot of sense. An awful lot of us.. maybe more than you might realize.. have had to deal with something rather nasty. Oh I'm sure that a lot of you might just say, "Well so what! I mean.. we had to deal with it too.. and look where we are." The problem is.. this attitude isn't very helpful to those who are so confused. Ok.. out of the brush and onto the canvas. What I'm talking about has to do with what I'll call "personal perspective." That is.. evaulating a person based upon who they really are. I can guess that probably everyone in this world has been put down by their peers.. their parents.. their teachers.. even their bosses from time to time. It's a normal part of life. But my question is.. Just how right is it? I can remember growing up.. how difficult it was in our family. My dad and mom fought an awful lot.. and ended up getting a divorce before I was 5. And I can remember how mom would often say things about my dad.. and later.. how my dad would say things about my mom. These ideas were probably shaded.. but did have some basis in the truth. But it always bothered me that they had to fight so much -- yet who was I to do anything about it. I guess that one of the reasons I ended up hitting my brother so much as a child was because I learned to be agressive and take advantage of my larger size (as I was 2.5 years older). I blame this on both my parents. On my dad because he was so physical and rageful at times.. and on my mom for letting it happen. But I digress.. what I need to get at runs deeper than simple physical abuse -- all though physical abuse is often part of it. One thing I learned as I grew up.. is that if you're not part of the "in" crowd.. you're really a nobody. At least.. that's what I was trained to believe. I may have had a certain bit of popularity at times simply because of my uniqueness.. but it was a popularity that wasn't too welcomed. As a child.. I was basically a very shy nerd who loved tv. I think one reason I spent so much time watching tv is because it was an easy way to pass the time.. and nobody on tv called me a wimp or a weakling. Nobody on tv made fun of me when I made mistakes. Nobody on tv put me down. TV was my answer to one of life's toughest questions.. "What do you do when there's nothing to do?" I'll bet a lot of people.. in every genereation.. have chosen to escape "Real life" by vegging out into different sources of attention getting material. Some may have used books.. some video games.. some tv like me. But it's all just a great escape from what we need most to deal with. Now I'm not about to say that all escapes are bad. Far from it. In fact, sometimes an escape from what pains us is a great way to go. Jesus often made escapes from His disciples.. He went off to pray.. to spend time with God.. His Father.. and get back His strength so He could continue on. However.. this little soliloquy isn't about escapes as much as one major reason a lot of us end up taking them. I'm sure you've had to deal with people in your life who you found were.. in some way or another.. beneath you. Now don't be so surprised.. a lot of the time we do it without thinking. It's amazing how easy I find myself degenerating into seeing myself above people.. and how much harder it is to humble myself and realize that everyone else is just as worthy of love, praise, and all other good things.. as I am. I work hard to get rid of this notion.. but it keeps coming at me. My heart continually likes to have some "distance" between those who I see as "unworthy" and myself. But wait one minute. Isn't the ground at the foot of the Cross level? In other words.. who are we to compare ourselves to anyone else and say "we're better"? I hear it bout every day of my life. We do it all the time. I hear my teacher.. my friends.. people I have only passed by.. acquaintences on the net.. you name it. We all seem to do it. But why? It's purty simple why.. We all want to be viewed as beautiful.. we all want to say that "we're more beautiful than they are".. at least.. that's one of the ways people go. It seems that we as a species have the nasty habit of either sitting on thrones or laying down in the street for people to walk on. It's very easy to assert the idea that "I'm better than so and so" or "We are a higher form of life than they are".. even when speaking about fellow humans. And with those who have been put down an awful lot.. the phrase becomes, "I'll never amount to anything.. I'm nothing.. I'm sludge.. I'm slime.." Gosh if I don't hate the two words I'm about to utter -- pity party. Every time I hear them... I hear the condescending heart of the person saying them. People don't take the time to realize that the reason why people get *into* these pity parties is often because they are simply overwhelmed with pain. Most people hear someone saying, "I stink.. I'm nothing.." and just get frustrated.. and even yell at the person.. rather than build them up like they need. This is a basic example of seeing yourself above others. You feel "well, if I were in their position.. I'd just drop my pain and keep going." Well, I have a bit of news for you people who say that. WHO ARE YOU TO SAY YOU KNOW PRECISELY WHAT THESE PEOPLE ARE GOING THROUGH?? These people have intricate mental and emotional structures which differ from yours in extreme ways.. ways that human science is only beginning to measure. You just can't go around saying that you can handle what someone else has been given because you have no idea of just what strengths and weaknesses they have, as well as just how heavily their life, current and past, weighs on them. It's like.. how can you know what a bird feels like when it flies until you are that bird? In the exact same way.. you can't know what it's like to deal with someone else's problems until you've been that person. Now, we *can* get ideas of what it's like if we've gone through similar circumstances.. but in truth, only God knows just how hard it is for them.. and only God knows just how painful it is to be where they are.. and whether or not they're really trying their best. So what do we really look like? I can tell you.. not like you think you do. And I can bet that there are a lot of people out there who are sick and tired of how many of you treat them. Every single human being on the planet.. and every single human being that has ever lived is no greater than any other.. with Jesus as the only exception. Yet I hear daily about churches that exalt themselves as the "only way to God".. or about someone who views that they're better because they are monogamous.. or heterosexual.. or white.. or male.. or younger.. or what have you. It seems a very natural part of our being to lift ourselves above one another. Yet I've found something very interesting that parallels this. It seems that the ones who do the most "attacking".. who are the loudest when it comes to saying they're "better" than others.. are people who feel extremely worse inside. They attack others and position themselves above others in order to make themselves look better in their own eyes. But if these people would just stop and look, they'd realize that putting people down doesn't make them look better.. it makes them look worse. Unfortunately, with many peer groups, this doesn't seem to be the case. It becomes a peer-group-activity to put down certain types of people. In High school, the "in" cliques often make a habit of putting down people who aren't "in". They enjoy it.. it makes them feel superior.. they lord their "in"-ness over everyone.. and they leer at anyone who dares to challenge their "royalness". But just because it's done doesn't make it right. If only the most "in" groups were really loving.. then we'd see a real change in the world. If it were "in" to love people.. to really *LOVE* as God defines it.. the world would find itself being run in the only way it should be.. and only those who were incorrigibly unloving would be left out. But this isn't going to happen until Jesus comes back. Until then.. you can bet that the most "in" groups.. in almost every place you get involved with.. even in churches.. will be loaded with people who do what the group wants first and foremost.. and do what is right only when it agrees with the rest of the group. I admit I haven't come to tears all that often about all the pain that people who claim to be Christians cause. But that doesn't mean God doesn't. It only means that I'm struggling to figure out how much do I need to let others' pain touch me.. I know it should be enough to spur me on to help.. but not so much that I become so overwhelmed by it that I can't help. I agonize in my heart, however, about how the world is so misled. We pursue all the wrong things.. we go after fame and money and power and pleasure.. when the things we really need to do well in life are far more simple to get. One reason, I believe, has to do with people's distrust of love's existence in the first place. I've heard several people say that they don't believe that love exists anymore. One reason for this is simple -- as a nation.. and most likely, as a world.. we have a very nasty habit of using the words "I love you".. and not meaning them. Most of the time when someone says, "I love you" these days, they mean, "I want your body" or "I enjoy having you around" or "I can't live without you". None of these are what real love is about. Real love is well defined by Michael W. Smith's song "Friends" in the chorus.. where he sings, "And friends are friends forever.. if the Lord's the lord of them". A true friend loves at all times.. and will do just as this stanza from Smitty's song says. For as long as someone lives with Jesus as their Lord, a friend will be that person's friend. However, a true friend also needs to do as the Bible commands.. and that is.. if a friend refuses to listen to God, we must confront them.. and if they adamantly refuse to listen.. and it's an issue of great importance.. then we need to distance ourselves from them. The problem is.. in today's world, most ppl either turn a blind eye to a sinning friend.. or they harp on them for rather meager imperfections. Finding a true friend.. one who will stand by you when you're right.. but confront you when you're wrong.. is very hard. The reason why is simple. Being a real friend means you work with all your heart to get someone God's best.. and that includes when what is God's best is not what that someone is notably interested in. Truthfully.. nobody always wants what God wants.. but a true Christian is someone who chooses to listen to God.. even when it's tough. And true Christian friends should keep track of their friends.. and help them to live correctly -- not being nit-picky.. but being ever focussed on helping their friends get ever closer to God. Unfortunately, there isn't any simple defintion that tells you when to leave an old friend 'behind' as it were. Most people these days are far more interested in keeping their friends than they are in pleasing God. They cling to such phrases as "If you're happy, I'm happy".. or "live and let live"... or other such notions which, on the outside, may look perfectly sound.. but within, are really festering pools of sludge inviting all passers-by to bathe in them. Just because someone is happy doesn't mean we should be. I mean.. man is happy, by nature, doing what is wrong in God's eyes. So why should we be happy just because someone is happy? And also.. we as Christians are not called to live simply on simple parallel line paths from our neighbors. We are called to live for God.. which means telling people what they need to hear.. even if they don't want to hear it. Ok.. important point. An awful lot of "Christians" go overboard on what I just said. They badger and beat unbelievers with words from the Bible.. believing that these "heathen" need to have it pounded into them or they'll never learn. Unfortunately.. they do far more damage than good.. as they demonstrate what these unbelievers have already come to believe.. that Christians are only interested in making converts.. not in caring about others. And this brings us full circle to what I was leading to at the beginning. If we were all focussed enough on God so that we heard His voice more-or-less clearly.. then we'd not be quoting verses verbatim at every unbeliever we see. Instead, we'd be ready to reach out a hand into each person's life we come in contact with... and with that hand, touch the part of their heart that most needs it. After all.. if God *is* love.. and if we are Jesus' hands and feet.. shouldn't we be spreading love to everyone around us? One of the biggest problems with this is as I was saying earlier.. we distance ourselves from many who we believe to be "beneath" us. Take a look at the list again.. and add "criminals", "rapists", and "murderers". Could you love either of these three types of people if God, Himself told you to? Well guess what.. He did.. through Jesus. He didn't tell us to see ourselves as above these people.. He told us to love those who cast pain on our hearts.. and to pray for those who badger us and even kill us for our faith. For those of you who see yourselves a little higher than you should.. how about a little more convincing. Take a look at Paul.. would you view yourself above Paul? I mean.. he's written like half of the New Testament.. right? Are you going to view yourself above him? But take a look at who he was before.. at Saul. What did Saul do? He killed Christians.. why? for their faith! That was it. Now.. if Paul was one of the worst persecutors of the church.. and then became one of God's greatest tools.. who's to say that the criminals, rapists, and murderers you have seen on tv.. or have yet to meet haven't the same potential? I mean.. are you going to say that God can't use them? Think about it. So where does this leave us? It leaves us with one big question. "Are we going to continue to put up walls between us and "them"? Or are we going to break down those walls.. and let everyone in.. so that as many as possible can see God's love as it really is -- as the love that reaches out to those who, although unworthy, most require it." Another way to phrase this question is, "If you were so misled and confused that you chose to take out your frustrations and anger upon society.. or simply seek your own pleasure regardless of who it hurt.. would you want God to love you?" Consider this.. God has an answer to that question.. Will it be yours?